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Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
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11:00 pm - THINGS ABOUT SCI-FI
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http://totalscifionline.com/features/3809-the-100-greatest-sci-fi-movies
The things i have to disagree with about this list
Predator (1987) at 98, FFS... deserves to be higher.
Flash Gordon (1980) at 94, again deserves to be higher.
Dune (1984) at 89, deservers to be MUCH FUCKING HIGHER!
Cube (1997) needs to be higher on the list.
Donnie Darko (2001), shouldnt even be on this list. its a bag of shit. best part was the credits, reading actually stimulated my brain.
Outland (1981) needs to be higher than 68.
Ghost in the Shell (1995) should be no lower than 20 on this list FFS.
Logan’s Run (1976) Needs to be higher.
Gattaca (1997) should also not be outside the 1-20 section.
Minority Report (2002) Since its heritage lies in a P.K.D short story i should be much higher. the film was very good, but didnt do the idea justice. and the ending tied together nicely, but when you look deeply it does have some underlying logic flaws to the plot as shown in the movie, not the short story.
Escape from New York (1981) needs to be much higher than 52.
The Andromeda Strain (1971) is an amazing sci-fi story and scary in its realism if you think about it... should be in the top 20.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) would be higher than 48 on my list i think, but cant gurantee it would be in the top 20.
The Abyss (1989) deserves special praise for not feeling like a sci-fi movie at all.
WALL-E (2008) technically yes, its a sci-fi film, but it never feels that way, and unlike Abyss, not in a good way.
Back to the Future (1985) easily top 10, rather than a lousey 36. who the fuck puts BTTF below the Matrix on a sci-fi list....
Westworld (1973) Need's to be higher, Yul Brynner since that day has deffined "The uncanny valley".
A Clockwork Orange (1971) at 27? please top 10!!
RoboCop (1987) Deservers to be in the top 20.
The Thing (1982) Anyone who argues this deserves anything lover than 10 on any sci-fi list hasnt watched it.
Tron (1982) deservers top 10 billing, how the fuck the matrix managed to get above tron is beyond me. I like Total Recall but putting it above Tron is like saying pedigree chum is better than caviar....
A Grand Day Out with Wallace and Gromit (1989) is not even on this list FFS!! Wall-e managed to get onto this list but AGDO didnt?
Contact (1997) didnt even make the list? again Wall-e a childrens story about a robot makes the list, but a film about earth first contact with aliens does not?
The things i agree with about this list
Blade Runner (1982) at no 1 XD
Akira (1988) is in the top 20, where it should be :)
Aliens (1986) in the top 20 where it should be :)
Alien (1979) in the top 10 where it belongs. :)
This List most over-rated things
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) at Number 2? i think not....
WALL-E (2008) number 38? out of all the Sci-fi films ever a childrens films gets billed at 38 out of 100? please....
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For the record I REALLY enjoyed the film Wall-E, but placing it on a list titled The 100 Greatest Sci-Fi Movies, is a mistake.
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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5:21 pm - PC upgrading.
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read in an article today the best explination of the PC Upgrading process ever.
It's a never ending process. Swap out the videocard, get new memory, upgrade the CPU, and then finally get a new motherboard, at which point you do it all over again because all your other components are outdated. Somewhere along the line a hard drive fails and three or four power supplies burn out.
That really is it in a nutshell.... :P
insert your own explitives...
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| Saturday, May 30th, 2009
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1:20 am - FILMS i'm lookinf forward to seeing.
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| Sunday, April 5th, 2009
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11:35 pm - Dragonforce
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Time travel is possible.
These fuck-tools are from the future, they only exist in our time becouse one of them woke up one morning and read an e-article about historic games. And then realised that they could forever fuck with games consols...... purely by time travelign and speanding several songs worth of recording time allowing an eppileptic with ADHD access to their equipment.
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| Thursday, March 12th, 2009
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1:06 am - A Celebration of Abandonware! (Or rather a celebration of the games from my youth)
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Yes a celebration of the games from my youth that I had forgotton but the wonders of http://www.abandonia.com have recently reminded me of.
to name the top list of games I played in my youth that I have re-discovered....
(if you dont remember with joy... nay reverence, at least 50% of teh games on this list i demmand you build me a time-confabutation-contraption and go back in time to 1990, buy yourself a 486 and start over again...)
ARRANGED IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER (Becouse im to damn lazy to put them in order of awsomeness)
Alien Trilogy
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/610/Alien+Trilogy.html
I got this game from my VERY FIRST pirate games CD which also contained Tomb Raider and Duke Nukem 3D. The game is amazingly absorbing and mildlessly fun!!
Bio Menace
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/236/Bio+Menace.html
I never played the whole game, but to this day I still have the DEMO on a Floppy Disk kicking about in my archive boxes somewhere.
Cannon Fodder
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/76/Cannon+Fodder.html
This game was fun, but i never mastered the controls. the music was at the time second only to the Worms theme for being "Stuck in your head humable"
Command & Conquer
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/378/Command+%2526+Conquer.html
The original, some argue the best. Al i can say is it started a revolution in games, all top down stratagy games for the next decade would be compaired to this.
Constructor
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/369/Constructor.html
I much preffered Constructor Underworld, as it was a grimey edition, think really old sims, crossed with lock stock and two smoking barrels...
Cool Spot
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/159/Cool+Spot.html
I never realised this was a protion game for "7 Up" soda. Still a great platform game.
Crystal Maze, The
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/865/Crystal+Maze%2C+The.html
Was almost impossible as a kid, still flexes teh grey cells today.
Descent
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/266/Descent.html
One of teh best fighting sims I have every played, full 3 axis direction. cleverly the levels were all designed so you always have small visual aids to tell you up and down for correct orientation.
Earthworm Jim
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/440/Earthworm+Jim.html
The game that allowed you to use cows as projectile wepons. need i say more...
Riptide
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/628/In+Search+of+Dr.+Riptide.html
Underwater side scroller.
James Pond 2 - Codename RoboCod
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/625/James+Pond+2+-+Codename+RoboCod.html
Think I origionally played this on a console at a friends house. Good platformer.
Kens Labyrinth
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/414/Kens+Labyrinth.html
Amazingly strange game. made by the guy who grew up to program the engine for Duke Nukem 3D.
Lemmings
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/37/Lemmings.html
many many times I have tried to play this game but each time I try it always fail. But I keep going back :P
MDK - Murder Death Kill
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/346/MDK+-+Murder+Death+Kill.html
When I origionally played the game I thought "MDK" stood for "Multiple Deadly Kicks"....
Pac-Man
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/885/Pac-Man.html
If you do not remember this game you need to be shot. I am of course fucking seriouse.
Pipe Mania
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/630/Pipe+Mania.html
Played this non stop on school machines. They loaded it as a problem solver to help us kids learn, but unfortunately they were just feeding my already huge addiction.
Raptor
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/15/Raptor+-+Call+of+the+Shadows.html
Great game to play for a few mins. Probibly made the leap to arcade machines and earned lots of cash. fantastic game.
SimTower - The Vertical Empire
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/341/SimTower+-+The+Vertical+Empire.html
This game has kept me amused for over a decade, Like Bio Menace I still have the Floppy Disk of the Demo. (From the cover of PC World)
Space Hulk
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/421/Space+Hulk.html
I never had the patience for playing warhammer in my youth, so instead i got the digital game so i could skip the stratagy and just blow shit away...
System Shock
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/24684/System+Shock.html
The grandaddy of all RPG's or FPS games that try to tell a gripping story, Even the mighty Half Life has some of System Shocks genes running in it.
Terminal Velocity
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/27/Terminal+Velocity.html
Always enjoyed playing this as it was as close to "Fury 3", the game bundled with the Sidewinder joystick, as it was possible to get.
Transport Tycoon Deluxe for Windows
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/240/Transport+Tycoon+Deluxe+for+Windows.html
Up until I was forced to upgrade my computer to XP after a HDD head Crash i stubbornly refused point blank to uninstal this game, despite being absolutaly fail-tacular at it.
Utopia
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/314/Utopia+-+The+Creation+of+a+Nation.html
This game proved to me without a dough I should never be put in charge of important decesions.
Wing Commander
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/137/Wing+Commander.html
Again, should I have to explain this game, I sall be doing so with a shotgun....
Wolfenstein 3D
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/16/Wolfenstein+3D.html
If doom was the father of the FPS, then this game was the father of Doom. Nuff siad.
Zool
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/61/Zool.html
I never understood this amazingly addictive Platformer. As far as i could ever gather the premis was this simple, you were a green alien ninja, bouncing around a diabetics nightmare landscare killing things. Its no wonder it was a worldwide sucess.
One of the great things about all of these games is that none of them took themselves overly seriousely.
And most of them shipped not on a 6GB DVD filed with enough code to make war and piece look like a meno, most of them shipped on a handfull of floppy disks.
(Or if you were a flash git, you got yours on a "Compact Disk" capabale of being read by an 8 speed CD-ROM drive!!!!
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| Monday, February 2nd, 2009
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5:23 pm - YouTube Dumb
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Today i wandered round youtube for a while..
here is what I found....
(Hint if you were born between 1982 and 1987 you grew up watching this stuff...)
Bodger & Badger
Sharkey & George
Bucky O'Hare
The Racoons
Woof
Penny Crayon
Mike & Angelo
Finders Keepers
Fun House
Grange Hill
Byker Grove
Raggy Dolls
Poddington Peas
Fraggle Rock
Playdays
Brum
Wizadora
ZZZap
Art Attack
Pingu
FunnyBones
Bump The Elephant
The Trap Door
Stoppit And Tidyup
Gummi Bears
Superted
Family Ness
Round The Twist
Captain Planet
Samurai Pizza Cats - Tatally insane japanese alternative to mutant turtles
Denver The Last Dinosaur
David The Gnome
Alvin & The Chipmunks
(Click here for the German version http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=putMK5hFhYk )
Defenders Of The Earth
MASK
Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors
Ghostbusters
Transformers
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Muppet Babies
Galaxy Rangers
Biker Mice From Mars
Bill & Ted
Galaxy High
Garfield & Friends
Nightmare
Charlie Chalk
Thundercats
Duck Tales
Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers
Bonkers
Animaniacs
Pinky & The Brain
Tale Spin
80 Days Around The World
The Snorks
current mood:  nostalgic
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| Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
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10:34 am - Smell
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I love the smell of Autumn,
Cold wet leaves but still sunny...
Reminds me of the days I spent at college finding who I really was and the times I spent walking to and from work at James Wright.
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| Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
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12:54 pm - Tie care
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Unlike myself I know many people who think tie's are like shoelaces.... Functional only and able to stand up to brutal treatment.... only used to cover the top button of a shirt.
Many people don’t even know how to use a Tie properly. If I had the power to re-write a law I would imprison all those who use "Slip-On" ties. [Never to be confused with Clip-On ties, as these serve a completely different function and in many lines of work are a necessity.]
Slip-On ties are ties where the man in question has tied the tie once, and then proceeds’ to loosen the knot and slip the tie over his head to put it on and take it off.
This practice will over time ingrain the knot into the structure of the fabric, meaning if you even fully untie the knot it will NEVER sit flat again... and upon tying the knot again you will always be able to see the lines of the previous tying.
The other most heinous crime with ties is not untying them properly when you take them off.
Most people I’ve met simply grab the tie by the knot and work it down and left and right until they can grab the thin end of the tie near the neck and then pull the tie apart and let the knot (if indeed it was tied properly) fall out, or untie the knot manually (if it was tied incorrectly)
This will stretch the tie out and make the back side of the tie look lopsided and generally it will destroy the life of the tie and after only a few short months it will look ugly on you, mainly because it will hand wrong. No matter what how to tie the knot, the two ends of the tie will not hang straight down, they will hang to one side.
This is caused by the stretching of the fabric on one side of the tie as you pull it off.
Eventually if this continues, you will have to push your tie knot so far to one side in order to get the body of the tie to remain straight that your tie will start to resemble the shape of a banana.
The proper way to treat a tie is as follows;
When hanging a tie:
Always double over the tie slipping the thin end into the small clasp of fabric on the back of the thick end to hold it in place, then. Double it over again and slip again into the fabric clasp on the back of the thick end.
[The fabric clasp is designed to keep the two ends of the tie together so when wearing it they don’t flap about separately] By hanging them this way the area of the tie that is supporting all the ties weight will be doubly enforced and thus won’t be as susceptible to stretching when hung for LONG periods of time.
When wearing a tie:
Many different styles of tying a tie exist and I am not going to preach here about which is best as it is usually either a personal choice, a choice based upon your shirt collar type or upon the quality and thickness of the ties material.
One thing that does hang true however is this, when the tie is tied it should NEVER descend so far this its point is below you belt buckle as this serves no purpose but to make the wearer look like he cannot wear his clothes correctly.
When your tie is on straighten your back and breathe in to expand your chest. Then try to fit 2 fingers between the bottom of your tie and your belt buckle, this is the ideal length. 1-3 fingers is acceptable, but 2 fingers is the best.
It is completely acceptable to take the tie off and re-tie it multiple times to get this right... I usually don’t get it right first time either…
You should view your tie like you view your hairstyle.... just because you have run your comb through it once in the mirror does not mean it right.... you wont stop combing it until it looks right.... the same should hold true for your tie.
When removing a tie:
When removing a tie, DO NOT just yank it off. For the reasons I explained above. The tie should be removed by untying it in the reverse order that you used to tie it. Loosen the knot slightly, then bring the big flat up and through the knot, and precede to gently untie the knot.
After the tie is off, fold it in half slipping the thin end through the fabric clasp and then using 3 fingers, roll the tie gently around those three fingers so you end up with the tie rolled loosely into a spiral (wide end to the front). The tie should then be placed on a flat surface with the sides of the roll facing down and up. (Think of a toilet roll placed on its flat side.) This allows the tie to recover from being tied. you should leave the tie in this position until the next morning, then when you go to choose the tie for that day, remember to unroll the tie and hang it up [remember to hang as instructed above]
When a tie has become creased or wrinkled:
If you have even been on a business trip and arrived at your hotel with a tie that unfortunately has slipped it hanger, or been accidentally crushed into a fold or where pressure has been applied to it and the sides of the tie have started to curl, a trip to a dry cleaners is what it needs. Most hotels can perform this service for you overnight. If your hotel does not and your room has a trouser press then this is an OK second option.
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| Sunday, August 31st, 2008
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12:03 am - Oh how the mighty have fallen.
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I've been saying it for years; the press does not have a shred of worth in today’s day and age.
Many a time I have lamented at the pointless scaremongering of certain papers.
A couple if times I have even pointed out blatant mistakes (Many of which are indeed corrected in later bulletins)
But today I actually laughed at the sheer and total incompetence.
And who was the perpetrator?
The British Broadcasting Corporation.
Long held as one of the best and most respected news providers.
I will not here go into any potential bias or agenda's many people I have spoken with seem to think the BBC (and many other news agencies) have, today I am purely writing about the incompetence I have witnessed.
On the radio today I heard from the BBC news the following.
"A Giant Baby Panda has today died"
You only need to read the above statement to realise how wrong it is... When understood the above statement leads the reader/listener to believe that a baby Panda of abnormally large size has died.... Not in fact that a baby of the Giant Panda species has died...
A simple proof read by a half competent person would have spotted this error, but alas it went on air.....
On the television just a few moments ago I heard the following
"People in Wales are today being advised to boil there water for 48 hours"
Evidentially there has been a contamination of the local water table or at least a scare of such…
I am quite confident that boiling water for only a few minuets would suffice... boiling water for 48 hours would cause a rather large gas or electricity bill and almost certainly result in a few house fires...
What should have been said was "People in Wales have been advised that over the next 48 hours they should boil all water before usage."
I am not a reporter.
And it is probably evident from MANY grammatical and spelling mistakes that I do not hold much education in written English. I never paid enough attention in English class at school, and for that I do now suffer.
I failed my English GCSE three times in fact.
My spoken English is however flawless, (in a non Steven Fry way of course) and it pains me to realise that BASIC errors are being made by what was the last true news broadcaster in an effort to put the news forward first…
Fact checking and proof reading are things that should NEVER be pushed aside in the rush to get a story to air.
The BBC instead should be proud to think they alone can get the news right FIRST TIME when other may get it wrong, rather than try to feel proud about reporting everything FIRST when others are second.
Bad information is worth nothing to anybody no matter how fast it is received, Good information is worth everything to the people who need it, no matter what the wait.
current mood:  disappointed
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| Monday, August 18th, 2008
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8:41 pm - TRon 2
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it might be 5 years in the past, but Tron 2 is still on of the most absorbing, beautiful and amazingly playable games I have ever played.
I certainly didn't give it the time, attention or prays it deserved when it game out, my mind was probibly on the upcoming half life 2 or leaked code for said half life 2..
Still Tron 2.... I am going to keep a working windows XP machine till the day I die, just for that game...
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| Monday, August 11th, 2008
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10:51 pm - Spooks : Code 9
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Where do we start...
"For queen, For Country, For kicks" is the programs slogan....
I'm kicking myself now for actually watching all 60 minuets of it when my first thoughts were only compounded into complete rightness by every passing second...
Yes, it's CBBC's with WMDs....
I'll explain shall I...
The year is something after 2012, but exact date never verified...
Very small nuclear device goes off in London, inside the Olympics...
Bomb is small....
so small infact that 5 minuets later the program explains that the whole of london has to be evacuated and relocated with MASSIVE amounts of effort.
Yet some how this bomb manages to "Wipe Out" MI5 to the piont where they have to employ college dropouts and petty criminals.
I'm sorry, but small enough to not kill the majority of the citys population but big enough to "WIPE OUT" MI5....
did evey member of MI5 decide to go to the olympics on the same day? did they get now office digs on the olympic site perhaps? if so, then think about this....
London is only 1 of the citys in the UK. MI5 has a pressence in EVERY CITY and major town.... what about all those thousands of MI5 agents? What about the few thousand MI5 agents who work for GCHQ in Cheltenham....
WAY out of the range of the bomb.....
Ok, fuck it.. I'm loosing the will to live re-living this episode.... google "spooks+code 9+shit" and you'll get the gist of how crap it was...
so crap in fact that after wasting 60 minuets watching it I am loathed to waste any more time on it, even if that time is spent extolling how crap and unrealistic it was.
(It's not meant to be realistic! its fantasy action drama! cry the fans...)
even drama should be realistic... that's the beauty of spooks, or at least the early ones.. Spooks code 9 might as well have had the members of the fantastic 4 and a spy who could read minds and it would have had the same level of realism...)
The extent of realism, common sense and logic you have to ignore in order to believe the plot lines is unfathomable....
case in point..... somebody hires a hit man to assassinate the PM in the first episode.... this assassin is 15 years old.....
I rest my case.
It tried to push the boundary's by saying consider for the next few minuets that the following could take place.... and then it makes no effort to prove that any of it can realistically happen, or provide any supporting frame work to support what it says that cannot be shaken to pieces with one casual nod at logic, reality or common sense..
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2008
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4:12 am - 31
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| Sunday, May 25th, 2008
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8:46 pm - Company's Electronic Arts has Cannibalised...
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When you read this list.... just take a moment to think about he games they made before EA Beat them down with there wallet..... And think what the might be producing today is the corporate world hadn't bought them out and stifled the creativity of such renowned game company's.
ARRANGED IN ORDER OF CANNIBALISATION
Origin Systems
- Founded 1983
- Cannibalised 1992
Best Known for "Wing Commander Series" & "Crusader"
Bullfrog Productions
- Founded 1987
- Cannibalised 1995
Best Known for "Populus 2", "Syndicate" & "Theme Park",
Maxis Studios
- Founded 1987
- Cannibalised 1997
Best Known for "SimCity" & "SimTower"
Westwood Studios
- Founded 1985
- Cannibalised 1998
Best Known for "Command & Conquer" & "Red Alert"
Kesmai
- Founded 1981
- Cannibalised 1999
Best known for "AirWarrior" (They also developed the first ASCII-based MMORPG, Island of Kesmai, which ran on CompuServe)
DICE
- Founded 1998
- Cannibalised 2004
Best Known for "BattleField 1942" & "Midtown Madness 3"
Criterion Games
- Founded 1993
- Cannibalised 2004
Best Known for "Burnout" & "Redline Racer"
BioWare Corp
- Founded 1995
- Cannibalised 2007
Best Known for "Baldur's Gate" & "Mass Effect"
Pandemic Studios
- Founded 1998
- Cannibalised 2007
Best Known for "Battlezone 2" & "Full Spectrum Warrior"
(NOTE - Since games take more then 12 months to make, any game released under the EA brand in the year any of the above company's were bought cannot be attributed to EA as the game would have been under development for many months if not years before EA came in and cannibalised the company.)
current mood: numb
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 17th, 2008
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1:10 am - Why.?
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Jesus Christ im so fucking lonely. why is it so hard to find somebody who wants to spend time with me without .......?
current mood: lonely
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, April 4th, 2008
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7:20 am - Service
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I am FUCKING LEG-END!!!
After a fre hours of trying I finally figured out how to install a program as a service. I can now install remotley as a service any program (within reason) on any machine in my network :D
It feels good to have accomplished that :)
What this all means is that my teamspeak server is up and running on a pc that is NOT mine, in the background and since its a service, should it stop for any reason, or should the PC be restarted, the service will dynamically start up again :D
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| Monday, March 31st, 2008
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5:05 am - New abilities in PlanetSide
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Game Update 3.15.2 - Thursday February 28th, 2008 Two new certifications have been introduced to continue the hacking profession. An advanced hacker must choose whether he wants to further increase his hacking potential with the REK or move to the dark side of hacking and install electronic viruses with the new T-REK. For the dedicated hacker, we have created the Electronics Expert certification which lets you have all hacking abilities at reduced cost. Here are a list of new abilities:
Expert Hacking
- Hack and jack faster than ever before!
- Jack occupied vehicles, booting all passengers.
- Increase pain field damage in nearby spawn rooms.
- Increase generator pain field damage.
- Steal enemy field turrets instead of just deconstructing them.
- Upgrade the Aegis Shield Generator with enhanced radar abilities.
- Have increased sensor shield protection while hacking.
- Remove viruses from infected equipment.
Data Corruption
- Access a new equippable support item, the T-REK!
- Infect vehicles' control systems, resulting in decreased speed and turn rate.
- Install a virus into a facility's Main Terminal for a variety of effects:
- Unlock all doors
- Double NTU resource drain
- Access all equipment terminals
- Disable enemy radar
- Disable linked benefits
- Infect Wall Turrets and Spitfires so they will attack their own empire.
- Infect Motion Sensors so they will display friendly units as enemies on radar.
- Infect an Aegis Shield Generator to emit a pain field that damages friendly units.
When a facility's Main Terminal is infected, the virus will immediately take effect. However, aside from noticing the effects of the virus, other empires will not be able to discern the type of virus installed, and won't be directly notified that the virus exists for a short time after installation.
Sound like this could be interesting. ;)
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2008
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11:33 am - Funny vid round up...
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| Friday, February 8th, 2008
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2:26 pm - Movies im looking forward to in 2008
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12:11 am - 2001
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Jesus fuckin-A-Christ that film was a disappointment...
how the hell does a film half full of rejected planet-of-the-apes extras, half classical music with a 10 minuets long LSD inspired tour of the grand canyon get cult status....
even in the 60's people must have thought it was shit....
all the film managed to do was steal 2 hours of my life and bore me fucking shitless for most the them......
The only interesting point in the film was the point when dave is eating on the space ship, and this was only interesting because I was unable to work out if he was actually eating purede food or if he was actually only eating combinations of mashed potato with various food-dye's.
2001 space odyssey in short...
SPOILERS AHEAD
ape's beat up pig thing,
apes discover big black thing,
apes beat up each other.
[NEXT SCENE]
human goes to spinning thing in space,
takes with Russians,
human goes to moon,
get photographed with big black thing.
develops headache.
[NEXT SCENE]
Big sperm like ship enters screen
Crap boxer runs around on the ceiling
computer beats crap boxer at chess
Computer develops ego
computer break big dish
humans fix big dish
computer goes mad
[FUCKING INTERMISSION] [ITS A FILM NOT A FUCKING STAGE PLAY!!!]
Computer kills human in yellow
human in red rescues human in yellow
human in red ditches human in yellow to save own skin
computer still bonkers
human gets inside due to explosive bolts viewer has been aware of since beginning of scene.
computer asks pointless fucking question
human trashes computer
computer sings a song
red human goes on LSD trip
red human somehow end's up back inside POD with an un-exploded door (no fucking explanation of where that came from)
red human now in period styled room with groovy light-up disco flooring
red human discovers bathroom with far too many towels
human now a old geezer eating food (no fucking explanation of where the food comes from or the decades worth of bog-roll needed due to all the food)
Human now cripple in bed
big black thing appears at foot of bed (before you ask no its not holding a fucking horses head)
red human becomes HUGE featus
Huge featus gets placed in orbit around the earth.
[THE END]
Now ask yourself does that really require 2 hours and 14 mins of your life? I've watched silent films with more stimulating dialogue!!! I've watched fucking adverts with MORE fucking dialogue!!
At this point I must say I completely sympathise with the computer. Considering it's spend 18 month cooped up with guys who do nothing but sunbath, box with thin air, jog, eat mashed food and do crap drawing I'm not fucking surprised it went BSOD on there ass's
Apparently if you believe the cult-dweebs / fans of this film its incredibly philosophical and only the most intelligent people will even understand it.
It answers some of the most important questions in the universe.
on a closing note, I have one question generated by the film that it failed miserably to address
(Always the sign of a failed film. poses more questions than it answers)
Given that this big black phallic symbol is always around at the turn of human evolution when the human step's thing up a notch and generally do history making things.... like EVOLVE
What the fuck was the big black phallic symbol doing goofing around with sleeping monkeys, getting itself buried and standing at the foot of an old geezers bed?
current mood:  aggravated
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 11th, 2007
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12:02 am - Work.
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binar's journal